he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize