Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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