its not stalking. its research.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
