That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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