we have officially lost it.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
