He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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