Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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