I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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