2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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