WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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