So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
