Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I have aggressive nipples.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
