Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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