If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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