I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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