Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The uberlube is also flammable
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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