if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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