Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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