so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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