Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
our cab driver is having phone sex.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
