stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
