Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Randomize
