You can't special order awesome
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
