ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
