I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
