I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
