I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
