I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
