oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
