can we get nightvision for the apartment?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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