they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
