Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
im six kinds of drunk right now
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Even my vagina gasped.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
