She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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