i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
