so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
