she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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