that's an acceptable place to lick
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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