He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
