So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Someone came in the potted fern
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
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