If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
