who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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