i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
