But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Randomize
