HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
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