I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
