I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
