North Korea, Best Korea!
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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