I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
