she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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