I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
