So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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