a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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