when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
