I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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