She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
