This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
