I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
