there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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