soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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