i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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