Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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