bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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