Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
