she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
